Sadness hits folks sometimes---
That's just the way it is.
Chuck those bad feelings away
Live to see another day.
Wallowing in the past brings only pain
Thinking about the present and looking to the future
Brings hope and joy and sense of purpose.
So look forward I shall try
Stopping sometimes just to cry
To leave the discomforts far behind
And look forward to a better
Tomorrow.
Looking blankly upon the screen
A shock hits me dead in the chest
Feeling dizzy and sleepy
I sought for some rest
But before that goal is reached
Anxieties engulf me from all over
Yet I know not why this is so.
曾经和你有了一段感情，
如今我们只是普通朋友。
可惜啊！真是可惜！
我们之间的距离真是如此深吗？
或者我们俩的缘分以用完了？
忘不了！忘不了！
你曾经和我相处得很愉快，
如今又说我们之间差异太多，
更说了自己不知所措，
不能走向一个专一的感情。
我不知如何是好，
不懂是我当时想错了，
或者是我对你太过好了，
让你开始有不一样的幻想。
你没欺骗我的感情，
我们之间没有第三者，
但你对恋爱的开放性格
我难以长期从容。
或许你没错，我们之间真的有距离，
而当初俩人一起走的原因，
是因为还没互相明白对方人身的想法。
或许分手时真地对我们两方有利，
心如刀割也罢，只愿你将来开心生活
祝你遇到心上人，过着开心的日子。
伤心的抱负由我扛，
由我来面对。
曾经说过，不在乎天长地久
只在乎曾经拥有。
我曾经有缘爱上你，心满意足，
若你快乐，我自然也会快乐。
可能以后我会有偶遇，
但以后的事，以后再说。
现在的我需要静一静，
给自己一个机会放下这颗散了的心，
让我又能回到普通人的社会里过活。
To say I have gotten over you
Is to say that I have forgotten how to breathe---
Impossible, unattainable, falsehood.
A part of my life you were
I cannot forget;
A special place in my heart
That cannot be denied.
Holding on together with thin twine twixed,
I long for your touch ever so often
The thought makes me shiver a little with sadness.
Some principles I have, yes
That prevent me from approaching you
The way lovers do when we meet,
I guess I will need to learn how to make do
Without tasting your sweetness.
The sun is high, the day is long
I feel the need to break out in song
A thematic feel of general sorrow
About my lack of control of the morrow.
It is a song of sadness no doubt
But it contains much memories, all sweet
You were a lovely angel, yes you were!
Try as I might to put you aside
I think that will not happen for quite a while
So strong your grasp has held on to me
Miss you much.
Goodbye my love
The one who kept me sane and happy
For the last year and almost a half.
I wish you would have stayed a while longer
But I think that you have your reasons for thinking
That my wish was not meant to be.
I bear no malice towards you, my love
You gave me nothing but happiness.
There is little that I would dare ask for
And thankful I am for the times we spent
Together.
I love you, like how a bee is drawn to flowers
Symbiotic, natural, organic.
I am sad that we couldn't be together forever
But this little time we had, I was glad.
Thank you for you love
Thank you for trusting me
Thank you for walking with me for a while.
It was the best feeling a guy could ask for
To be loved by someone as divine as yourself.
As the future's uncertainties come upon us
May we be strong in facing the challenges.
And perhaps Providence will show us yet another chance
For our paths to cross again so that we
Can once more walk together for yet
Another while.
Ida, I don't know if you are reading this
But if you do, always remember that
I have always love you.
A walk by the side of the road of light
Where darkness fear to tread
A moment's respite from the heat and drudgeries
Of uncompromising life.
Serene demeanours hide tumultous thoughts
A resigned air hovers about
That cannot be dealt with directly.
Thoughts filter through the psyche
Some sad, most happy.
A moment in life I felt truly content
I look upon that with great love and happiness.
Which way will the forward path bring
I know not under current circumstance.
But hope is one thing that I believe in
And that eventually, something will work itself out.
Serenity was sought
But an upheaval seems imminent
Yet there is little I can do
Except to sit down and hope.
A religious believer I am no
So praying makes little sense to me;
Why would the act of faith bring about
A change in a person's thoughts?
In the solitude that I have presently
I fear a repeat of what I had thought to be passed.
Discomfort lurks just beneath the surface
And I find myself worrying ever more.
Drowning myself in the quiet comfort of whiskey
I wait for an eventual outcome.
Just as things seem so well-defined
I find myself staring blankly once more into the void
Wondering if things will go down the way
That is not too good.
But things have a way of moving along, don't they?
When one least expects something, it happens;
When one most expects something, it happens not.
And when all hope is lost
A miracle sometimes occur.
But...
Miracles don't occur all the time
Yet we still live on.
Things are always in motion,
Be they good or bad.
The only thing that can be done, is to hope,
Since action and non-action lead to the same outcome
Due to the non-local effects
Hope is all that I can do.
A set of two-dimensional pixels upon
A rectangular screen
With no more than a one-dimensional character---
Perhaps that is what I am.
As I sit here watching your lovely face
Smiling with the prettiest of smiles
While eating a sandwich
I find myself more and more alienated
And doubtful over what is it
I am truly feeling.
Is it a sense of longing
A longing that you will be with me
By my side,
Or is it a sense of loss
The lonely soul's hyperactive imagination
Conjuring up wrong ideas upon wrong ideas
And spiralling myself lower and lower down
Confusing the differences between reality
And imaginations.
It stems not from distrust
But a yearning to be with you forever and ever,
That drives me so crazily upon the wall
Whenever I look at you through the web camera,
And realising that you are not really here next to me.
I do not know how best to feel this
Except for the whole ``wish you were here'' mentality
Yet when I see you smile
I wonder if I am having the right feelings.
Under the influence of the dim daytime light
Shielded from my eyes by the blinds that cover the windows
I sit here and look at your pretty face
Through the web camera, and wonder
As I let my mind wander,
When will we meet again..
As life draws on into the years ahead
I stop to listen and think in my head
About what the world has done to me
And how I have contributed towards the world itself.
A complicated potpourri of libated dreams
Filled with wanton thoughts of wild abandon.
Through the green meadows of pure bliss
Under the blue skies of pure comfort.
A blast of heat hurtles me back to reality
Where life revolves around trying my darndest to
Cool the hell down.
Life is full of interesting twists and turns
Some good, others bad.
Stepping up to the challenge is part of what life is about
To be able to make things turn out right.
Why do people make life so complicated?
Why are the wants always in the way of the natural order?
Why do people hate so much?
These questions, even with Science, cannot be answered.
Religion supposedly has the answer, but
They have largely ignored the issue and
At times are the very causes themselves.
It is a sad thing to see one's life utterly destroyed
When the whole issue could be averted
Long before things exacerbate beyond repair.
The strangeness of the human spirit never ceases to amaze me
How the wounds of yesteryear come back time and time again
To haunt and exact the vengeful presence upon
The psyche over and over.
The new religion ought not be about gods and goddesses
But about humankind and their thoughts, collective and individual.
With less esotericism and pontification
And more science and skepticism
Perhaps it would prove to be more therapeutic to the confused soul
Then whatever salvation that any religion can claim to offer.
A philosopher opined that it is not the god that creates mankind
But that mankind himself creates the god in his likeliness.
God aside, humans have a means of controlling their fate
But many choose learned helplessness instead,
Falling prey to their perceived lack of control and ability
Succumbing to their imagined faults
Never to rise again.
An interim outlook at life
Reveals many things to think about
Some of them trivial, many important
But most without an easy answer
On how to resolve whatever that comes.
How quaint it is to be at the end of
One phase in life, and at the beginning of
Yet another phase.
The things in life are most interesting
And we find that life is most excruciating
When decisions are forced and ideas
Need some form of resolution.
Alas, it will be that time again
To think about how we see the world
And all its multi-facetted nature
Concluding something that is much more different
Than what we had before.
The air has never felt fresher
When a big burden is removed
From one's shoulders.
A quick glance at the calendar
Reveals that in a few short days
I would have to leave this place
And return home for a while,
Leaving behind a special person
Whom I care and love a lot
My Ida.
If a student falls through the cracks
And there is no one to observe it
Does he/she matter at all?
Sometimes you look in the mirror
And find yourself staring at an image
That is both so familiar and foreign
At the same time.
And then you think to yourself
What is it that you have become
In order to obtain such a contrary effect?
What horrors have you endured
To turn into this person
Whose identity is no longer easily determined?
Walking outside in the breezy air
You find yourself thinking ever so often
About all these things.
And then one day, when you finally realise
Who you are
You would have died from old age
And a broken heart.
Nuanced words cannot start to describe
The sinking feeling I get whenever I start to
Think about the far future that I cannot
Truly see as yet; perhaps I am just being
Too sensitive to something that is not really there
And making myself feel uncomfortable.
As the alcohol flows freely
The tongues loosen themselves from the restraints
And words flow past the conscious like wine
From the amphora of the gods.
A moment's reprieve later
Sobriety far from sight
And new-found ideologies
Proliferate the tipsy mind.
A glance into the past
Reveals the reasons why the short-comings of today
Are thus so.
A peer into the future
Reveals the things that can be
If the said short-comings of today
Are adjusted and tweaked
Till they are short-comings no more.
Intervening light corpuscles
Interfere as diffracted waves
Through the iris
And upon the retina.
Rainy skies hide a forlorn heart
That reaches this state through pure neglect.
A moment's reprieve, a lifetime's complaint
Reduced to a single word: sigh.
Life is complicated, yet deceptively simple
Yet sometimes it makes you want to cry.
Looking up and beyond the frontier of truth
I see a field of contradictions galore
And then I wonder, deeply to myself
What is it that I truly want more?
